Never say never.

First of all, forgive me for I seem to be lagging at this whole blog this, once again. & I'm coming to you from my iPhone, so bring on the typos!

I'm lying here in bed, at 11 o'clock at night tentatively listening to the baby monitor, and periodically tip toeing to Emma Claire's bedroom to gaze at her from the doorway. Sure, I could be snoozing away because I am beyond give out, but of course I'm not. You see, this is the first night I'm giving it a true shot at getting her to sleep in her very own bed. It's exhausting to say the very least. Joseph has been snoring away for a while now, so it's a great time to ramble. Right?

Let me confess, in the past 7+ weeks I have accomplished doing most everything I swore I would NEVER do. Throughout my short 9 months of pregnancy I thought I had everything about motherhood figured out. I believed everyone who had been there, done that was out of their minds when they tried to share advice with me. I already knew everything there was to know. I knew just what I was going to do and not do. Wrong. Very wrong.

Pacifiers- ugh, no thank you. My child wouldn't carry around one of those ridiculous things in her mouth. She wouldn't find comfort in that, and I wasn't going to offer it to her. I was also going to let the nurse staff know she was to not get one during the hospital stay. Ha! Emma Claire had the hospital supplied pacifier on day 1. Now, she doesn't take it very often, but I am thankful for it when she gets sleepy for sure. Just in case-- they can be found here at home, in the diaper bag, and also at the restaurant. I'm also thankful she's not crazy about her thumb. I can throw a pacifier away, but I can't really throw her thumb away.

Formula- she wasn't going to have that mess either. I planned to Breastfeed exclusively. Sadly, that didn't go as planned. I won't go into detail with all that here, mostly because I'm still pretty bummed about it, but I'm accepting things I cannot change and slowly moving on. Formula isn't anything to compare to Mama's milk, but I'm thankful for the smelly stuff for sure. It's helping sweet girl to grow and get a belly full. That's all that matters to me.

Cosleeping- This was at the top of my "Don't Do" list. All I've ever heard is if you ever start them in your bed, you'll never get them out. I agree. I slept in my parent's bed practically until I moved out. Emma Claire started out in her Rock 'N Play next to my side of the bed. Then one night Joseph and I fell asleep with her in between us. It felt so good to me to cuddle her throughout the night. Having her little body snuggled up to me is like Heaven on earth. Since the first night of her sleeping with us, she has been alternating from our bed and the Rock 'N Play. It's so much easier to rest when she's in bed with us though. Tonight is proof-- she's in her bed, asleep now for well over an hour, and I'm anxiously awaiting her to call out for me any minute now.

Gifts- Christmas is right around the corner and Joseph and I agreed we wouldn't have a big to-do this year. We never buy gifts for anyone, not even ourselves or our nieces and nephew. Sad, I know, but I don't believe in buying stuff just because its Christmas unless the item is truly needed. I don't like clutter, and I don't like having something I have no use for. With that said, I want to buy Emma Claire EVERYTHING!!! She'll only be 2 1/2 months then, but by golly it's so difficult not to spoil her beyond measure. I'm doing good though, nothing had been purchased other than Cinderella. My sister and I had a huge Disney movie collection growing up, so that's what I'd like to do for Emma. Plus, that's a great thing to tell grandparents, aunts and uncles, and whom ever else asks what she'd like for gift-giving holidays and special occasions. Also, DVD's don't take up lots of space in my home, so it's a win-win for all :) Oh, and birthdays wouldn't be over the top either. Just this week I've been looking at options for her 1st birthday cake. Already?! Yes, I know, I've got it bad. Very, very bad. I just want her to have everything. I want to give Emma everything in my power and I don't see that changing any time soon, if ever.

I'm sure that I'm forgetting many other things I said I'd never do, but they'll come to me one of these days after I reluctantly do them. For now, I'll go check on sweet baby once more and then try to get some rest myself. Cross your fingers this works out and say a little prayer for this mama. I sure don't want Emma Claire sleeping in her bed without me next to her side, but I know this is what is best for all three of us. Maybe ;)